How to Tell Your Loved Ones You’re Going to Rehab

Addicted people holding hands

Addiction has a wide range of effects on people’s lives. It also affects their family’s lives and mental well-being, making them wonder how to go to rehab. People tend to avoid it because they are afraid of what their loved ones might think.

Taking the first steps to recovery will be overwhelming and daunting. Accepting you need rehab is more difficult. However, it’s normal to worry about your decision’s negative consequences.
Despite being anxious about your loved ones’ reactions, they are an important part of your rehabilitation process.

Once you decide you need addiction treatment, you should make sure everything is in order before you leave. If you’re ready, here are some ways to tell your family and friends you’re entering rehab and help them understand the beginning of your journey to recovery.

Who Should Know You’re Going to Rehab?

First, it’s not necessary to tell anyone you are entering rehab. But in reality, you will have to tell some people, including your family members, who will pay for your treatment, pick you up and drop you off, or care for your children while you are away from home.

Although the answer to this question will vary for each person, you might think about telling the following people that you are considering entering rehab:

Spouse & Closest Friends

They are not as blind to all the changes you’ve gone through. They’ll have noticed some signs: heightened anxiety, inability to sleep, money and work problems, and more. They have probably researched how to get someone into rehab if they paid you close attention.

Make sure you know what you’re talking about; educate yourself about addiction and discuss what you’re prepared to do to overcome it.

There will be emotions involved; they might feel shocked, outraged, in denial, cry, or not talk at all. Telling them you’re getting help will be a lot to take in. Be patient, and allow them all the time they need to process your decision.

When you talk to them again, make sure you won’t be disturbed and they can talk freely. Let them ask all the questions they want and work together to figure things out.

Be sincere, and accept responsibility for your words and actions. If they understand, ask them for their support.

Don’t forget to involve them in your treatment, as long as they are able. And, be honest with your feelings; it won’t be easy, but going to rehab will help you get back on track and live a better life.

Children

Talking about rehab with your children can help them understand what to expect. Teens and older children are more capable of handling details than younger ones.

No matter their age, you will want to discuss important topics:

  • You’re going to rehab to get help. Help your children understand that you are sick, and the people in rehab are there to get better.
  • Tell them what to expect. Your children will want to know who will take care of them, and what their life will look like while you’re in rehab.
  • They’re not to blame for your addiction. Children tend to see their parents’ addiction as something they did wrong. It is important to address this issue from the beginning and reinforce it during the recovery process.
  • You’ll stay in touch: Whether you communicate by regular phone calls, video chats, or email, let them know how they can keep in touch. Some drug and alcohol rehabilitation centers have family visiting hours; your children may find it comforting to know they can visit you from time to time.

Give them the time to ask questions, and get their opinions. Prepare for their reactions, validate their feelings, and make sure they have someone to talk to when you are away. Also, check if your facility has rehab for families to help mend the rift addiction has caused.

Parents

If you’re a teenager or young adult, it’s important to talk to your parents about going to rehab. You might be afraid of their anger or punishment, but they are more likely to care about your well-being and do everything to help you. They might get upset or shocked by the news, but they likely won’t punish you, especially if they are open to discussion and are willing to help.

Choose a time you are comfortable talking to them. Explain your struggle with addiction, and that you would need their support in getting treatment. Talk about the resources and treatment options you’ve explored; this will let them know you are serious about seeking help for substance abuse.

However, if your relationship with your parents is unhealthy or they are struggling with substance abuse themselves, it might be better to seek help from another adult.

Employer

Despite popular misconceptions, most people struggling with substance abuse are employed. It is important to carefully consider your decision before telling your employer that you plan to go to rehab.

We don’t recommend lying about the leave of absence, regardless of your employer’s awareness. Approach the situation with care to help you keep your job after rehab. It may even help you have a productive conversation with your employer and relieve some of the stress you’re feeling about joblessness.

In deciding how and what you’ll tell your employer:

  • Examine your company’s policies regarding drugs and alcohol in the workplace. If your company doesn’t have any policy, research their health care policy for sick employees.
    Learn your rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act. This helps you determine if you were discriminated against by sharing your rehabilitation plans to go to rehab with your employer.
  • Talk to your addiction specialist about the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). You could be eligible for 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave.

How to Tell Your Loved Ones You’re Going to Rehab

Before you decide what to tell people, weigh all the pros and cons. Do you feel it is important to share your story with others? Is it okay to keep your addiction story a secret? Are you able to tell your close friends and family about your addiction?

Once you’ve decided on what to do, try these tips to tell your loved ones you’re going to rehabilitation.

1. Plan for the right time and place.

Choose the best time and place to tell your friends and family, and give them time to accept and process the news.

Don’t tell them about it in passing. Instead, set up a lunch or other time you can talk about the situation and share the news.

It’s also important to choose the right location for this conversation. Pick a place where the person you are talking to will feel at ease. Don’t meet in public such as a restaurant; it will keep everyone from freely talking.

2. Be open and upfront.

Some of your family members and friends might already know you’re struggling. This is an excellent opportunity to share the extent of your addiction and any additional information that might help them understand why you need professional treatment. Show your sincere commitment to get better; they are more likely to trust you if you reveal your shortcomings and dishonesty. This also facilitates trust-building.

3. Give them reasons why you’re going.

State your reasons for why you want to enter rehab. Tell them how it will benefit you and your loved ones. Let them know how it helps you overcome relapse.

Let them know that you are putting yourself first to live a happier, healthier, and more productive life.

4. Tell them how to get in touch with you.

Friends and loved ones might get worried about you while you’re away. It’s important to tell them how and when you can talk. Set clear expectations on how long you’ll be in rehab and how frequently you are allowed to talk with them.

Try to learn about your facility’s communication policies. Call everyone you need to call before you enter; most rehab facilities won’t allow you to use your phone while receiving treatment.

5. If you can’t say it, write a letter.

Writing a letter is a good alternative if you’re finding it difficult to talk to your loved ones. It may not be the same as having a conversation, but it’s still a valid and personal way of communication. A letter allows you to be more deliberate about what you write and how you present your news. You also avoid experiencing their reactions, which helps reduce the stress you feel and allows them to take more time to process it.

6. Only tell people you’re comfortable with.

You might consider writing down all the events and things that led you to seek help. Create a list of people who matter. This will help you think about why you are telling certain people and not others and help you decide how much information to share with whom.

7. Accept and understand their reactions.

Sometimes, not everyone in your family will support your decision to seek rehab. You may find some friends or loved ones upset or confused when you announce you will be away for a while.

Let them know you understand and accept their feelings. It also won’t hurt to address their questions and concerns. Their feelings are valid, and tell them you’re sorry for the pain you have caused, and are willing to enter rehab to ease some of it.

8. Don’t predict how they’d react.

Do not attempt to predict how they will react to what you say, no matter what. Even if you are correct, you should not put your body and mind through the stress and anxiety of playing this game.

It may lead to resentment and make the whole experience difficult. Remember, your decision to seek help for yourself is what matters most. The hardest part of the process is over, and your decision should not be affected by anything that happens afterward. This will make it easier to take the next steps in your journey towards healing.

What to Do If They Don’t Support Your Decision

Your family might not be supportive of your decision to seek rehab, even if you try your best. Set boundaries with your family in this situation. They may express their emotions and be upset about your addiction, but don’t let it stop you from seeking help. They may change their minds if they see you making progress.

Sometimes, family members are in denial because they are suffering from addiction themselves. Perhaps your choice is making them more aware of their own addictions, forcing them to face their struggles. You may let them know how to go to rehab, but stay true to your commitment to enter rehab.

Get the Help You Need From Haven House

Our doors are always open.

No matter where you come from, Haven House will help you on your long road to recovery. If you’ve been wondering how to get someone into rehab or want to go into rehab yourself, reach out to our center for addiction recovery in Santa Rosa Beach, FL.